Roo 7 Story 8

One of the Nights of Terror:

For every family with many siblings, there is always a child who steals your heart with their light spirit, wit, and an adorable presence that everybody seems to love. This poses a challenge for a father so as to avoid provoking rivalry in other siblings, but to no avail! The eyes talk and expose you. You try to save face and say “I love you all”… and I believe, according to my limited experience in life, that this is part of the struggle of most fathers and mothers.

This younger daughter of mine… the first day she was born, my heart skipped a beat in a way I never experienced with her siblings. I felt a unique connection with her that I couldn’t explain. From the very first moment, I fell in love with her features, I was captivated by her smile, and I knew she took over my life… for she is “the apple of my eye” as we say in slang. We share a secret that “you are my favorite child”! A secret she whispered in my ear each time she felt jealous of her siblings “daddy, don’t forget I am your favorite child” hahaha… oh how much I love her and fear for her and how weak I become infront of her sparkling eyes!

In that night that we called ‘night of death’, suddenly, all connectivity and communications were cut off and radios declared Gaza as dark and isolated, with all the dire implications this declaration brings. You couldn’t even check on your family and relatives in Gaza.

A few minutes later, the shelling exploded from all directions. Suddenly, the skies lit up with the colors of fire and then switched off, fire belts here and there, homes bombed over the heads of their occupants, the sounds of people screaming all around us… our hearts nearly stopped. A terrifying idea overtook our minds that “this is our last night.” I heard my brother speak the shahada (praising God before one dies); my seventy five-year-old father frozen and paralyzed in horror; my sisters-in-law screaming with every explosion; their children trembling. My wife took the boys in her lap and I took in the girls.

My older daughter was terrified, but she stuck her head between my shoulder and neck and held on to me so tightly, it felt we were one body. This also meant she felt my fear and fast heartbeats the most. As for my younger daughter, every inch of her was shaking, her face yellow, her lips pale and dry, her extremities cold, her body shaking, her fingers in her ears, screaming and crying with every hit… and there was a hit every minute. Since that day, she hasn’t been able to sleep except in my lap, with her fingers in her ears.

The situation remained like this for around 5 hours of death and destruction. You can imagine what that sunrise was like for us as we realized we were still alive and breathing.

Yes, such have become our daily routines, our nights, our memories, and such are our children.

We have but God and He is our protector.

‏Roo7 – Anonymous Mental Health Professional (for fear of being targeted)
30 October 2023